Our last meeting

Ok, so I'm sorry its taken me a little while to write about the last meeting in part its because there was SOOOO much to process and well sorry to say not to much to tell! I know that doesn't sound right but.... its the truth! We learned some things that are confidential, and the other stuff Im just not to sure what say about it. Let me give you a picture though of how it went. We got there a little early so we waited in a government office and those of you that are familiar with the setting know that there is no being comfortable and at ease! Next a couple walk in and tell the receptionist that they are there for a meeting for THEIR boys ________ and ______________...my heart started going about a million miles an hour and thoughts started flying through my head, and I thought about just being quite and waiting for the meeting but then I opted to be myself and open my big mouth. And so I simply asked so your here for BIP for the boys eh? And the man said yes and were guessing you guys are the ones that want to adopt them and charlie said yes. And they introduced them selves as the foster parents and said that they were scared and excited for the boys, and the questions and thoughts in my head just started to go.......why are you not adopting them? Are you going to change your minds and end up hurting us? What should I say and not say to you? I had know stinken Idea you were going to be here! I wish we were properly prepared for this meeting if only our case worker would have told me I would be meeting the women that has been raising my sons for the past two years!Of course thats all in the inside on the out side was a calm smile and polite talk about the weather.

shortly after we went into our meeting, including our selves there was 12 people around this huge table there was brief intros, and then the boy's therapist began the run down of the list of issues and qualities that each of the boys have most we had heard before and some where a little bit of a surprise

I have to say the only thing that continues to bother me is that they so bluntly said THEY DO NOT WANT TO BE ADOPTED. They think that the home they are in is there home and that their foster parents are their parents.... My heart broke.Doubts started to come and then... I stopped thinking about my self and my dreams and started to think about the boys and the dreams they have already lost and realized that what they are feeling is a good thing and its ok. They have ATTACHED to some one! Thats a good thing! And I remebered all that Charlie and I have been through and that The Lord has been so faithful to bring us through and that HE is the one that changes hearts and that my job as their future mother is to be in prayer for the hearts of my children and that is what I am doing and where I am at. We are praying daily for our boys and trusting that God will work in their little hearts and help them to get through what is going to be a really hard time for all of us. I remane excited and long for the day to have to them home.

We have two more meetings in april one on 19th and then the next day on the 20th