Sunday went wonderful! The boys were great! We did have alot of testing and a couple of fits but we got through and overall just really enjoyed them! They had some times to really ask questions and they were just little checking in questions but still they were huge and they really touched my heart. Enrique asked if we were going to be their mom and dad and Robert asked if we are really excited and if our family was all really excited and we said of course! And then they excepted it. So many times I wanted to cry and hold them, and just do what a mom does! And while we are still excited about all that today was a little harder. We had a counseling session with Robert and he just totally shut down on curled up in a ball and covered his ears, he just didn't want to except any of it. He had told hi Foster dad in the car that yeah they are cool people but he doesn't feel ready to move he wants to stay at his home! A little hard to hear even though we know its natural and who wouldn't want that in their situation, but still just seeing his little heart hurting and him trying to cover it with defiance and "tough" attitude just broke my heart I wanted so desperately to put him in my arms and love on him and reassure him.

My heart is just a little heavy this evening as I think about our sons and the pain they are going through. We will be in continuous prayer for them and still longing every day to have them home!

It only gets easier from here!

It still amazes me how scared my husband and I can be of a 4 and 7 yr old! Charlie and I were very nervous, probably the most that we have ever been together. When we got there the therapist came and got us and put us in the waiting room by our selves and said that she wanted to get the boys into her office first, and told us that she thinks it will go ok, because telling the boys went ok. And She also said that from this point is only get easier! LOVED THAT! So we waited......Charlie and I just kinda paced the floor and made some small talk. She came back and got us and as we walked into the room both the boys were hiding and it really took alot to get them to come out and sit and talk, but the foster parents did get them and got them ok and sitting down. She told them our names and Robert remembered us from Sat. He didn't say so at first but after we played a game he talked about how he played with Charlie and the things that they did on Saturday. And then she directed us in asking questions little ones like whats your favorite color, actor, sports and we all answered Robert did kinda pick on charlie a little bit by saying that charlies foot ball team sucked things like that but over all he was good and asked questions on his owne. But the first question that he asked was and this is how he said it " ok I only have one question: when we live with you when we have bbqs can we invite them sometimes?" He was pointing at his foster parents and we said of course that they could come, and Robert said ok then I think I can live with you :). You can tell that Robert is excepting it in a way but it hasn’t full sunk in. Enrique was VERY shy but also sweet he didnt talk much but he did good. You could tell that he was pretty scared still but I think he will be just fine! She asked us all what we were scared of and Charlie said that he was scared of mean people and Robert just lit up explaining THATS WHAT SCARES ME! And So the therapist asked us Charlie and Chas are you mean people will you yell and scream at the boys and hit them hard when your angry? "Because thats all that they know of other people" and we said no of course not. And at that point you could see Robert just physically relax he was so stressed and worried that he was just going to get really mean parents, and all he wanted was some nice ones. Then she told Robert to ask us what was our jobs so he asked me and I said that my job was going to be to stay home with them and take care of them, and he was very shocked at this and kinda acted like he had never heard of such a thing, it seemed to make him happy! Enrique again was quite but was smiling alot. Then Robert asked Charlie and Charlie told him and how gos to school but he also does all of the "fixing stuff" where we live and then he asked Robert if he would like to help him some days, and Robert was just so siked and explained that he loves to paint and that he would do all the painting for him if he needed!!! It was awesome he was just so willing to help and wanted to be involved!

Charlie and I are just in awe of the Lord and Know that He has his hands on this. It seriously could have gone completely different for us the whole process could have gone so differently And The Lord has just been guiding and blessing. We are so excited and just cant wait to get our boys home. We know it wont always be easy but we also know that the Lord will be with us and take care of us! I cant even express how full my heart is of joy!

Again, Thank you thank you thank you for all of the prayers!

Our next meeting with them will be this Sunday at the foster parents house for a bbq :)

Its really real!

Last Saturday was awesome! We spent a good three hours with our boys just playing! It was wonderful. They didn't know that we are their parents but we did manage to break the ice with them and have a good time! I just simply loved watching them play and playing with them it was so hard not to touch them to much or get personal it was a very odd feeling looking into my sons eyes falling in love with them and them looking back at us as if we are just some people they met and are playing ball with, and really I know that is what we were in a since. But it really makes you wonder about how the Lord feels looking at us and watching us loving us so very much knowing what a wonderful plan he has for us while His children don’t know him don’t realize they have a father that loves them and has an amazing future for them!

We were told after that our oldest did ask " are those the people that want to adopt us?" And he was told that we are interested in adoption and in them but that nothing was decided. I hate that they were lied too...

On Tuesday we planned out the calendar, its so stinken crazy, but so exciting! We cant wait to be with them all the time. Last night was to me one of the biggest nights on the calendar even though we were not there. The boys were told last night about us and that they were going to now have a "forever family". I just keep praying for their little hearts that they are ok and that they are excepting this. I know its so hard on them and so so scary. The unknown can be terrifying really for all of us!

Tomorrow is the second biggest night at 5pm we will be introduced to them as their new parents!! Its hard for me to even write about it. Its huge and it is to me going to be one of the biggest scariest moments in mine and Charlies life. In my mind its similar to the birth of a child so excited and yet scary too. I guess for me its the fear of rejection. I know that their hearts wont be filled with joy like ours, and thats ok Im just really fearful that they will flat out refuse this process. So we are praying praying praying for all of the hearts involved that they would except us, and be open to us and that we would respond how we should and that i wont get to emotional. I know its really important that I hold it together and it will only be by the grace of God that I do.

After Friday they have Saturday to process it and then Sunday we are going to go to the foster parents house for a bbq and just hand out. And they there is about of month of visits, outings, meetings, training and then finally the goal date is June 11th the day our sons will come home to stay! I just loved when we were in the meeting making the calendar and Charlies hear our goal date he just lit up and was simply over joyed because his birthday is June 12th and has he said to everyone in the meeting he will be getting his sons for his birthday! It took alot to not cry right then and there! I just love that. What an amazing gift they will be!

The last thing that I want to say is just again how amazing the body of Christ is, never in our lives have we felt so covered in prayer. It has increased our faith, and blessed us more then we could ever have anticipated. People have been so giving and self sacrificing its truly humbling. We continue to covet and appreciate your prayers as we are heading into this very excited month!

We love all of you so much!

Not my plans or theirs

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Last Friday we were asked to attend a treatment team meeting for the boys it was suppose to be just a very low key meeting no big things discussed a quick in out type of thing.

So Tuesday Charlie and I got ready and headed off, we discussed in the car how we were going to go a head and talk to them about some concerns we had about them prolonging some of the other meetings and not really feeling like they were making this a priority.

So here is the picture we go up to the office door I see our case worker through the window standing there she looks like she was throwing stuff but we were not sure what was going on so we walked in and the first thing I see is two ADORABLE little boys playing catch with her........ and then I see their foster mom who is our boys foster mother and then I really looked at the boys and it really clicked that these were our boys?!?!?! They were precious and it took everything that I had not to cry, throw up, or grab them and hold them and kiss them. Instead we just stood there for a second and the case worker also was a little taken aback " turns out the case worker and therapist had totally forgotten that we were coming to this meeting and the boys had a therapist meeting that morning so thats why we all ended up in the same room at the same time. So the case worker asked us to play ball and we did, not very much at all was said we mostly just played. We talked a little about soccer with the our oldest " I like saying that" and our little one didnt say much at all. But though there was little words there was huge eye contact and sizing up. Even though no body said these are the people adopting you we really felt like Robert had a good idea of who we were. And we went through different attitudes just in the 15 minutes we were with them at first he was stand offish, then he included us, then he was aggressive with me, by the way he was throwing the ball and then he was playfull.

It was hard and scary and wonderful. We went back into our meeting after the therapist came out saw that we were there and had a minor freak out, and when we got back there we discussed how it went how she was so sorry that she forgot about us coming and what this Saturday might look like. We are still going to go and we really think that our oldest will be even more aware that we are going to be their parents, but thats ok even though the therapist was freaking and saying we are putting the cart before the horse and so on and so on. Charlie and I KNOW that what is taking place isnt our plan or their plans but its the Lords plan He knows why this happened and He is going to use it. We are excited to see what comes of this. Already the staff decided that we have to move everything up and get everything going very quickly since the boys are putting 2 and 2 together, which thrills me to say the least!

Our next meeting is this Tuesday and we will set up the visitations and get this thing going!!

Thank you all for you love and support please continue to join us in prayer for a smooth transition and for the health and salvation of our boys!